Catch a falling... CACTUS

In case you are all wondering why I haven't been blogging, well, erm, I caught a falling CACTUS. Need(le)less to say I didn't look to see what I was cathcing. My attention was averted to a book situated to the right of me, ironically something to do with "fall" and Wall Street.

I felt something falling to the left of me, and without looking I caught it. A bleedin' CACTUS. Well, no pun intended but my hands were seriously bleeding. Most of the cuts and brazes were luckily not to my finger tips, but ONE darned..., what do you call them, hold on while I google it. Spines? Well I'd never have thought of calling them spines. Swines, yes. Anyways, one darned spine stuck into my (had to check this word too) ring finger.

Well, try to type with a spine stuck up your ring (finger). It is NOT funny. Painful. Thus it has taken me about, well ages, to write this tiny post. This also being the reason that I haven't written in about a week!

Well, at least I learnt one thing from it all. My reaction time is top speed.

This is what I found on the internet:

http://www.cstone.net/~bcp/1/1MrSci.htm
First Grade - Science - Lesson 33 - Animal Habitats - Desert - Describe a cactus plant.

Ask the children if they have ever seen a cactus plant. Show the children a cactus plant. Have the children brainstorm words they would use to describe the cactus. (I know what I'd call them!) Point out the parts of the cactus (the green stem and the pointy spines). Tell the children that the spines on the cactus are there for a few different reasons. Say: For instance the spines scare off animals that might try to eat the cactus. (Bold and italics mine.)

Or say: For another instant the spines scare off people who don't LOOK BEFORE THEY LEAP!!!

Muineál Righin Platanaim gan Slis Cuimhne

D’fhán mé i mo shuí aréir go dtí 12:35 ar maidin mar go raibh mé, mar a dúirt mé libh inné, ag pléascadh le fáil amach caidé a bheadh le rá ag na cowboys (Oireachtas Report RTÉ 1, 11:30pm) faoin chlár Prime Time Investigates (RTÉ 1, Luan 30 Bealtaine, 9:30in).

Níor chóir dom bacadh!

Chuir Finian McGrath TD (Néamhspléach) in iúil do Enda Kenny gur shíl neart teaghlaigh nár cheap an Rialtas go raibh tábhacht le cás na gcúramóirí. Ní raibh “oiread agus TD amháin” sásta labhairt le Pat Kenny ar Frontline oíche Luain lena phlé, a dúirt sé.

Bhail ní chuirfeadh sé iontas ar bith orm. Is ar éigean ar féidir iad a aimsiú i rith an lae mar a chítear ó na binsí folamha sin uilig! Agus ní ag caint ar na cúlbhinsí atá mé.

Lean McGrath ar aghaidh ag inse don Taoiseach faoi rang scoile amháin ina bhfuil 28 mbuachaill, dhá pháiste a bhfuil riachtanais speisialta orthu ina measc, maraon le páistí le fadhbanna iompraíochta. Gearradh uaireanta Cúntóra Riachtanas Speisialta orthu, agus gan acu anois ach sé huaire a chloig sa tseachtain.

Cosúil leis an tuít is coitianta inné sa tuítlann ar an ábhar #rtept (RTÉ Prime Time), má tá an scoil seo, nó ceann ar bith cosúil léi, lonnaithe i mBÁC 4, beidh mé ann láithreach le lámh cuidigh a thabhairt dóibh.

Ach bhí deáscéal ann freisin!

Ag caint dó fós le McGrath , dúirt an Taoiseach go dtabharfadh an Rialtas tosaíocht do dhaoine le Riachtanais Speisialta agus le míchumas intleachta agus go, oops, tá brón orm a léitheoir, ach caithfidh mé an sliocht seo a fhágáil i mBéarla. Ní thuigim i mBéarla é gan caint ar a bheith ag iarraidh a chur in iúil i nGaeilge.
... nuair a bheadh an “analysis of the comprehensive spending review is completed we will know the truth of the scale of the priority that can be accorded to any of these sectors”.

“The truth of the scale of the priority” an ea? An dtiocfadh leat sin a shoiléiriú le do thoill a Thaoisigh?

Sliocht an Lae:

Ag caint dó ar dhánacht Mhicil Martin a thóg ceist na síntiúis polaitíochta corparáide, dúirt Enda Kenny go glic “Bí ag caint ar mhuineál práis. Sin muineál righin platanaim gan slis cuimhne”.

Tá mé ag inse duit, bhfearr liom an chraic seo lá ar bith na bheith ag amharc ar “Friends”!

Agus ar deireadh:

Ag caint faoi na fíricí uafásacha a nochtadh ar an gclár Prime Time Investigates ar an Luan, dúirt Enda Kenny “ba bhreá liom dá mbeadh muid in ann na rudaí seo uilig a aisiompú thar oíche, ach ní féidir linn”. (Ní céard a Thaoisigh?)

Níl ach rud amháin ar féidir leis an Taoiseach a aisiompú thar oíche, agus sin... “Ní bheidh an dara tarrtháil de dhíth orainn i 2012”. Buíochas le Dia gur fhán mé i mo shuí i ndeireadh na ehm, dáileadh.

PS Caidé ‘tá Basil Brush ag déanamh sa Dáil?

Micheál Martin's Neck of Toughened Platinum

I waited up until 12:35 in the a.m. to watch the Oireachtas Report. As I told you yesterday, I was done dying to know what Enda and the boys thought of Prime Time Investigates which went out on RTÉ 1 on Monday night.

There wasn’t much beef.

Finian McGrath (Ind) told Enda Kenny that lots of people were questioning whether the Government was taking the issue of the situation of carers seriously because “not one” Minister could be found to appear on Frontline on Monday May 31.

Not surprising when they can hardly be found during the day to turn up in the Dáil.

McGrath pointed out that “one class of 28 six-year-old boys, with two children with special needs and others with severe behavioural problems, has had its [Special Needs Assistant] hours reduced to three days per weeks from 9am to 11am.” Like yesterday’s top tweeter on the subject of Monday’s #rtept (RTÉ Prime Time), if any of them schools is in D4 I’ll gladly come and volunteer to help out!

But there was some good news!

Still talking to Finian McGrath, Kenny said the Government would focus on special needs and intellectual disability “as a priority” and when the “analysis of the comprehensive spending review is completed we will know the truth of the scale of the priority that can be accorded to any of these sectors”. The truth of the scale of the priority? I’m sorry, but I’ll be darned if I know what you mean by that Mr. Taoiseach.

Quote of the Dáilday: On Micheál Martin’s audacity at raising the subject of banning corporate donations to political parties, Enda quipped up “That’s not even a brass neck. That is a neck of toughened platinum from which the memory chip has been removed.”

I’m telling you lads, this stuff is better than any sitcom!

And last but not least, referring to the “shocking revelations” made on Prime Time Investigates on Monday, Enda stated “I would like to think that we could reverse all of these things overnight, but we cannot do that”. No Enda, you can only reverse other much more important things, like... “There will be no need for a second bail out in 2012”.

All I can say is thank God for that Enda. It was worth staying up after all.

PS What’s Basil Brush doing in the Dáil?